Rant

[sean]

God, so many things are fucking bothering me today I have irritable bowels.

Firstly, I'm tired of not having a job, or money. Its literally sickening me to sit here in this fucking room all the damn time doing nothing but play games and do stuff on the internet. But I can't do much else because a job that was promised me if I came back to the state of Colorado has yet to appear, after a FUCKING MONTH of waiting. A WHOLE GODDAMN MONTH. And yet, at the beginning of the months wait, the guy offering me the job made it sound like I would have it within a week at the most.

Not so much now.

He never returns my fucking calls, isn't there when I stop by and ask for him, and just seems like he ignores the fact that I want to talk to him, and talks to my dad about whatevers going on. It royally pisses me the fuck off. I'M THE ONE WITH THE FUCKING QUESTIONS! NOT HIM!

Secondly, money is still a fucking issue, I have loans, tickets, and people to pay off, and since motherfucker can't get me a job like he said, cause lord knows I can't just go out and get one here in Colorado, I have no money with which to pay these outstanding fees. Again, MOTHERFUCKER YOU PROMISED ME A JOB!

Another thing I'm tired of is all these motherfucking twitter bots that have to follow me. I DONT WANT TO SEE BRITNEY GETTING F.UCK.D THANKS ASSHOLE! Its fucking ridiculous.

I'm having to rewrite my essays and fucking final project for my class, because the company I picked didn't have the shit information I needed to finish up the goddamn thing. I'm tired of all this freakin' running around on the things I need to finish, thanks for nothing you fucking companies with no Investor Relations webpages. You fucking suck.

I wish this video game company would return my emails, phonecalls, something. I'm wanting to get information here!

Parents promised so much more than I've been fucking delivered here. Man, thanks for being like the other jobs I had where they promised these amazing things, but DIDNT FUCKING DELIVER. Thanks so much mom and dad, you're a real help. Its obvious you just wanted me back in this fucking house in this goddamn basement instead of happy and where I want to be. Thanks for making me fucking miserable.

I'm so freakin' lonely here, and I miss Bren a whole, hell of a lot. The things I'd do to be back with her right now are numerous and involve all sorts of murder, killing, pirating, etc. I'd so much rather be with her in Texas than here in this fucking basement wishing things could get better.

Well, they're not going to get better. Its obvious they can't right now.

I just get to sit and stew in all this shit and wonder what the hell will I ever be able to do to get out of it and live with Bren and just have a good fucking life?

But no, I can't ever have anything pan out the way I want, because that's bullshit that I would want something for myself the way I want it. I've lived my fucking life for everyone else up to a point, I've been through some pretty horrid shit in the past, and now that I want something particular, I can't have it?

Thanks a lot, god, or whomever is watching over me.

You're a fucking dick.

I'm feeling much more defeated right now than I have in a long time. I don't want to do jack-shit, and I'm tired.

I'm tired of being here, living with my fucking parents, being miserable and getting sick after every meal I eat.

I'm tired of this whole 'give it some time, you'll get the job' bullshit I've been putting up with.

I'm tired of nightmares that haunt my sleep, and this feeling of helplessnes I feel all day.

I'm tired of nothing to do here.

I'm just fucking tired.