So, yeah.

[sean]

Another year has come and gone.

One of the happiest years of my life. Correction, the Happiest year I can ever remember having.

And now the happiness has to end.

I don't blame anyone but myself, its my fault the end had to happen. It always seems like when I really, truly want something, I am not allowed to have it. I don't deserve it. For some reason or another, I just don't deserve it.

I don't want this single life.

I don't care for 'working' on a future that I'm now not even sure I want anymore.

Not even sure I want a future now, maybe content to just live in a basement for the rest of my life.

But thats the depression talking.

I find no solace in us still being friends, I mean, I love her to death and could never hate her.

But its just so difficult when the relationship ended on a good note and I can't find anything to grasp onto to help me through it.

She never hurt me, never cheated, never did anything wrong against me. I mean, I hope she finds someone who can make her happy and all the luck in the world is there for her.

But still.

I'm going to need all the help in the world.

MY friends say 'give her time, she may come back.'

But I don't want to put any hope in that. If I put hope in it, and want it, then as my life has shown me, I WILL NOT have it.

I'll just have to find a way to work through this, please stand by me my friends, I need you now more than ever.

More than ever.

More than ever.